An end to a means?

So I tried something new today because I felt like God was leading me to do so. I shared where I was really at spiritually with my small group. Normally, I give vague answers when they asked. I told them about how I struggle with depression and that I don't really know where I'm at spiritually. This was a HUGE step for me because , frankly, I'm ashamed to let people know this about me. And right now, I feel better because I shared this with them (and those who are reading this.) Maybe this means that I am starting (baby steps) to actually let people in more and not "live inside my mind." Frankly, I find this exciting. Not going to lie, I actually danced today in gladness.

I talked with one of my professors today and she asked me what did I want to do with my political science degree. And I told her about how I was torn between political science and the culinary arts. And to my surprised she exclaimed "Me too!" She told me that she was happy to see me at Ohio State studying politics and that I should never lose my love for cooking because its good to have wide interests and that I that they can feed off of each other. I think this was the answer I was looking for and she had no idea how much she helped me out. So now I want to continue politics. I'm thinking about going into teaching and research. Because there is so much more potential for me there. I was even thinking about "what if I taught abroad or even in Korea or Japan?" I can see more opportunity and even happiness for me there. (and ,of course, I would love to be the second person in our family to earn a phd )

Jon Shah (our preacher) said something that really stuck with me. He said that feeling compassion is not enough. Merely feeling is easy and it so easy to just be a bystander. That we need to act. Too often do I feel compassion but not act on it because I feel like I have my own problems to deal with and that it's simply inconvenient. At small group tonight, Meghan challenged us to show radical love to someone in our life that we feel God has placed in our lives for us to do so. At first, I thought of someone but when I got home I realized God has placed someone in my life that I feel needs me right now. It was the last person I expected but it soon came clear that this is the person. Jon Shah also said something Sunday that has got me thinking. He quoted this guy from campus crusade : "Evey time I find my self alone with someone, I beleive it to be a God ordained encounter." So it got me thinking, am I missing things? I think I am. I God wants everyday for me to be radical and revolutionary but I am missing the point of life almost everyday. Like I said the other day when I quoted Emmanuel Kant, "we must treat everyone as an end instead of a means." There are no means to an end; there are only life changing decisions being made everyday. Let's try not to overlook them.